Resolutions…

A new year always brings forth resolutions.  2019 is quickly approaching. I have never been one to really make resolutions because who truly sticks to them?  I made a resolution for 2012 to run a half marathon before I was 40 and I completed that in October of that year.  That has been the only year I have made a resolution.  I just feel guilty if I say I’m going to do something and then don’t fully commit.  One should never go back on their word.

Commitment is what makes a resolution hold true.  Often people talk about losing weight and they stack a large number of pounds to lose.  That never works for me.  I have anxiety of a high number.  I have to take baby steps and be like, “I’m going to get through today by eating better.” 

Gyms are packed to the max with “resolutioners” at the beginning of the year.  Typically the first quarter of a new year are full at gyms.  I have seen people complain on Facebook (eyeroll) about how packed ‘their’ gym is and how hard it is to get on a machine.   The people who complain must have been born in a gym in perfect athletic condition.  You are a freak of nature.  I would like to meet this prodigy. <insert sarcasm>

Seriously, folks, you had to start somewhere.  Never, and I mean NEVER, put down somebody for trying to better themselves.  Don’t fault Planet Fitness either. My hunka hunka and I are proud members. Take your hate elsewhere. I have seen so many call it “Planet Fatness”.  At least those folks are moving their bodies.  “Bodies in motion, stay in motion.”  Encourage, not discourage.  My protective claws come out when I see or hear others putting down folks who are working out, even if I am not in my top shape.  Everybody deserves a chance.   If you feel put down by someone, come sit by me.  I’ll build you back up.

I don’t know what 2019 will bring.  It is a new year.  Each day is a new start.  It’s a mulligan we are given all the time to make a difference not only in ourselves, but in everyone around us.

I try to be a positive person, but sometimes grief pierces my heart unexpectedly.  I talk to my sweet dad every day, sometimes more than once.  He said something to me that hit home.  He talks often about wishing God would call him home so he can be with his baby girl.  He misses my mom so very much.  I know the pain of not having my mom around, but I cannot fathom his pain of losing his life partner.  Daddy said he wishes God would call him home before 2019.  He went on to explain that 2019 is a new calendar year.  His words were, “When January comes around, I can no longer say I lost my baby girl last year because another calendar year has passed.” 

Million knives stabbed my heart all at once.  I never thought of it that way.  I won’t be able to say, “I lost my mom last year.”   Toughest part outsiders have towards grief is a misunderstanding.  Time will never heal wounds.  It teaches you to mask that pain.   As Daddy said, “I catch myself looking at your moma’s picture and tears start pouring down my face.”  That’s HUGE for my dad.  You have to understand…this man never cries…never.  He rejoices in death because they have moved on to Heaven, a much better place than we have here.  When it comes to my mom, his heart hurts.  When he hurts, I hurt. 

As 2019 turns the corner, I’m just going to take everything moment by moment.   Becoming a motherless daughter taught me it’s all about the moments, not about the days.  I’m praying for more beautiful moments which turn into beautiful memories.  I’m praying for my sweet Daddy to find peace in his heart.  I keep telling him Moma wants some time with Chubs and her family before God calls him home. 

I think I will make a resolution for the new year…continue blogging. I hope you continue to follow me.

As I toast you all to a better 2019, I leave you with this…

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