Famous Last Words

I’ve been reading lately folks who write their own obituaries before they die. The quirky ones go viral. Each time I read one, I always think to myself, “I want to write my own.” Why not?!

Most recently a coworker’s uncle passed. She said he didn’t write his obituary, but he did plan his own funeral. The funniest request was that he didn’t want the preacher to talk more than 15 minutes at the cemetery because he tends to talk too much. Seriously…hilarious.

An obituary is about you. Who knows you better than you?! Most are so generic and boring. It has become a notification. I love to read an obituary about a complete stranger and learn more about them.

My parents are so traditional. My mom wanted everything to be as it should be. The funeral director has been around my family for over 40 years. She added a special touch in the obituary about how my mom loved to sit in her rocking chair and listen to gospel music. That truly summed up my sweet mom. I don’t fault anyone for the traditional obits. However, I want it to be fun!

I need my obituary to include my alter ego, Wonder Woman, and my Brady Bunch obsession. I need it to mention my love of Karate Kid. I’m a kick ass karate chick. Hello…Cobra Kai till I die! Literally, right?!

I have to mention my Hunka Hunka. I gave him that name. Even some of my friends who have never met him do not even know his real name. I like that. I tell him often I’ll probably die before him anyway so he won’t have to worry about my obit. My dad even says that. Cracks me up every time my dad tells me only God knows my last day on Earth, and it could be before him. “Oh Daddy,” I say to him all the time. (I think he’s just bummed he hasn’t been called home yet, and now thinks he’ll live forever.)

I’m sarcastic. You have to figure out am I really gone or just messing with you. I call a spade, a spade. I had a friend buy me a shirt a couple years ago that had “#nofilter” on the front. I am what I am. I used to laugh and say people think I’m joking with my sarcasm when I’m really being true. I”ll let you figure that one out.

I have to add in how funny I am. Seriously. I’m downright hilarious. Most times I just crack myself up, but so dang funny. My Hunka Hunka shakes his head at me all the time. He married me…

On a more serious note, I do hope I’ll be remembered for my charming sense of humor, my laugh, a wife who loved so deeply, for being a great daughter, loving family member, and a cool grandma – as my Maddie May’s friends describe me. Remember me for how much I love my Gracie Mae, more than I love anything in life. No joke…she takes the cake!

At the end when you are all sitting at my memorial, hopefully mourning me gone, I do hope you smile knowing I’ll be at the gates asking St. Peter to let me in. We all know I have a whole lot of begging and pleading ahead of me for all of my mistakes I have made, some more than once. St. Peter will just shake his head a each one and question why.

Write your obit. Think about how YOU want to be remembered. It’s never too early. You can always make updates. Just make sure you save the most recent copy. What will be your famous last words?

Peace out, trouts!

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