I’ll soon be six weeks post op. I had to humble myself and ask for something for sleep. Since surgery, I have been slept a total of four hours each night. There is no comfortable position and I feel every movement, which keeps me awake. My surgeon suggested different things to where I’m learning to adapt. I must start each day with a new mindset without losing my damn mind in the process.

I have one more week before I can go back to work. While some may think it’s been enjoyable, it is quite the opposite. I’m limited due to my immobility and just can’t do what I would love, including working.

Early Christmas to ourselves, Jim and I bought an elliptical. We didn’t buy a big fancy commercial one, but one that had great reviews, one of which being quiet.

I call my office a horizontal mullet. Half of my office is all work. The other half is our workout area. Business on the left; party on the right. I am one of those who call working out a party.

Just getting on the elliptical was a challenge. I struggled just trying to use my quads to lift my leg over. This is closest to running as I can get. I miss running so much.

I started moving and could feel every rotation of the pedals. The saying “no pain, no gain” is so true. I have to push through in order to be successful.

Yesterday was my third attempt on the elliptical. I could barely push for ten minutes on my first attempt. I questioned if I can even do this. The second attempt I changed my mindset and pushed for twenty minutes. Damnit. This is not where I want to be. Why am I not feeling any better about this? Why is it so fbomb hard? I seriously hate people hearing how fast people bounce back. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!!! I am me. I was athletic. I was a runner. I had super strong legs. What is wrong with me?

Mindset. Mindset. Mindset.

I am me. I am strong. I am working to become a new me.

Yesterday I changed mindset even more. I put a movie in my dvd player, 8 Seconds. (I love that movie). I focused on watching that movie. I covered up the screen with my phone and remote so I could not obsess about time.

Before I knew it, I completed my goal, which is a 30 minute workout.

I’m not looking for distance or be who I was. The person I used to be was removed with my bone spur-filled hip. The person I am today is made of titanium. Titanium is strong. I am strong. This damn surgery will not defeat me.

Mindset. I just change my mindset every day and start fresh. I’ll be fresh tomorrow when I get back on that elliptical. It’s waiting on me. The new me is waiting on me.

Thank you for reading and staying with me. My emotional support is always there by my side. Even though she’s sleeping, she’s always close.

Peace out, trouts!